i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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