There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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