return my video game
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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