I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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