Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Green mimosas i think yes
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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