I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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