it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
