It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
