I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
