Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
