He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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