I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
soo... how was my night?
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