you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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