Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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