my sisters under your porch take her home
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
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After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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