Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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