then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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