im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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