well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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