jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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