Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.