His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
