Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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