I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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