Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
