thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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