She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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