wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
