she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
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Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
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holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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