# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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