it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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