remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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