Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
