; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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