I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
