Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize