I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
