Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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