just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
