My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
