I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
