Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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