I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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