Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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