i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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