i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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