don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
