If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
