What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
