when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
