Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
