he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
