i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
