we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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