Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
