gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
