i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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