id be glad to
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
