it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
