What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
