This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
