i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
